Fecantunny

I was at Wal-Mart on Tuesday, toilet paper shopping. I’m a single guy, yet I buy in bulk since I have ample toiletry closet space. So when I make a toilet paper purchase, I want to be very sure. In the middle of my browse, I was met by Beth. Let’s just say I asked for shopping advice. One thing led to another, and I knew it wouldn’t be a pink package or a package with a baby on it, but I eventually settled on the one that had a puppy on it. Toilet paper shopping is tough as a guy who isn’t 100% secure in his masculinity.

That whole story is only a side story to the amazing revelation I had. While peeking down the aisle, I noticed that I could see the paper towels in the next aisle. BAM! It hits me:

“Good paper towel brand names make very *bad* toilet paper brand names”

Still don’t believe me?

Brawny

Worse: Bounty

Really Bad: Mardi Gras

Sparkle, Viva….

When I get an idea in my head, I sometimes don’t at all stop trying until I’ve reached the goal &ndash the same day! That’s what happened last night as I was convinced that I needed a stand-up desk. I was concerned, and rightly so, that sitting down all day is not good for me, and that it is fatiguing to do so. I decided that one way to solve this problem was to have a desk where I would stand up instead of sit down. I stand up to think a lot of times anyway, and it makes it much less of a burden to walk to another room if needed.

Like many times I get a crazy idea, it’s been done before. I didn’t know to what degree! Apparently Thomas Jefferson, Winston Churchill, and Ernest Hemingway are among those that made the switch. It not only helps you think, but results in a more elevated heart rate, and allows for a little more exercise while working. I looked around and couldn’t find a decent standup desk for less than $300. Most of the good ones were $400-500+. The sad truth is that I already have two computer desks in my computer area. Both of them are excellent desks, but are about 6-8 inches too short. I found my answer for $7. I bought two 12-pack cases of Pepsi and now I’m set up! Adding $7 to a $100 desk doesn’t seem like much at all compared to $400 for almost the same thing. I may look for a longer term solution, but this is very stable and wonderful. I guess I’ll have to write a letter of thanks to Pepsi, inc. for their fridge packs. They provide much better support than the 12-pack cases of the last decades. I only wish this would have worked without the cans staying in the case.

“Our own accomplishments are not only relatively unimportant outside of the context of a greater community but that community brings with it a diversity of mind, yet unity of spirit that can encompass far more than a single imagination can fathom”

Some quote I randomly wrote out today.

“It was as much an exorcism as it was a basketball game” - first line of a high school sports newscast on the local news at KHQA. I don’t get it. I really don’t.

So I stayed at my parents’ home this weekend and I slept on the couch in the basement. That would have been ok and normal enough. On the other hand, though, I was making up for a whole week of too little sleep and I drank a cup of cappucino right before lying down to go to sleep. I got to sleep alright - and fast. Then I had the strangest dream where I think I was about to have surgery to remove my jaw or something like that. There was a 33% success rate with that surgery or something.

All of a sudden my mom is in my dream and I get this weird feeling that this isn’t my dream. Maybe I’m in my mom’s dream and I’m not actually the real me. I thought about that for a second and realized that it’s kinda hard to be self-aware if I’m a figment of someone else’s dream. But what if I’m her dreaming that I’m Chad. Then I just sort of decided to myself “There’s only one way to find out!!” So then I woke myself up to find out. I remember being in my dream trying to wake up to find out if I’m really me or not. So I woke up and there I was, myself.

Weird, huh? Moral of the story: ‘Don’t ever take in a lot of caffeine just before going to bed when your body is desperately lacking sleep.’

I saw this phrase in Latin on a web site:
“Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.”

And this translates to:
“Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.”

Isn’t that just the time-waster you needed today?

I saw a commercial for Cancer Treatment Centers of America, and I heard this line: “I knew I had skin cancer, but I didn’t know I had malignant melanoma.” Apparently I’m not the first to hear this line - http://www.livejournal.com/~just0chris/53976.html

Keep it intelligent, America.

Ok - so maybe completely useless technology is mankind’s greatest achievement. Wouldn’t surprise me, really. So I called someone in Greenville, and while on the phone I found out that I can record the other person’s voice during a call. So now, my new ringtone is her saying “Hey guys, should I give Chad a new ringtone?” Next time my phone rings, you’d better hope I’m quick to answer. Her voice can get to be…annoying on a cell phone speaker (or without ).

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world - Post It notes!!! I slept for 30 hours this weekend. Call that lazy? I don’t. I call it the first smart thing I’ve done in a month. The Thief is taking away my very livelihood: my motivation. Sadly, one night short on sleep makes a second night even harder to resist. The human body is very susceptible to conditioning, which normally is good because it means I can put my mind to better use as long as I make the right habits. How do you pull yourself out of a rut? You pull really hard!

That’s just what I did. I put Post-It notes all over my apartment. Just like in the movie Back to the Future, where the Doc learns how to make his time machine by leaving himself a note (well, ok - he unknowingly sent a videotape back in time…). Except I’m doing it with post-it notes and without any of those pesky Space-time continuum paradoxes.

Post-it note on the alarm clock to tell me to get up the first time it goes off, a post-it on the shower to tell me to take my bicycle before taking a shower, a post-it note on a box of cereal strategically placed by my laptop saying “Eat this,” and even a reassuring post-it on the back door to my biçycle saying “Yes, this way.”

Will it be easy? I’m sure it won’t be. Can I do it? Absolutely. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten into something like this, but I’m making it my goal that this is the last time I have to fight my way out of the unmotivation zone.

Who has tricked me? Who has deceived me into following a gospel other than the one I had received? Am I trying to please men or God? If I really am trying to please man I would not be a servant of Christ! Why am I setting petty traditions and man-made rules in the way of Truth? Was Christ’s crucifixion not enough? Why do I continue to follow rules, when what is demanded is my very life? Why have I let myself become dependent on other people for something that God alone has authority over?

Two weeks! And couldn’t I have done something? Why would I let my own life rest in someone else’s hands? Is it for my own gain? I would accept it if it were for my own loss, but no - I don’t see how that can be. Instead of letting Jesus be the Cornerstone and allowing myself to be a security to others, I let my very foundations rattle to use someone else as a crutch. And for what?

Two months! And couldn’t I have done something? What are special days? Festivals? Has the gospel been wasted on me, when I look back only to see that Cornerstone was a special time…I feel so stupid. Isn’t every day just the same? What is opportunity? Is it what I want to do? Or is it sacrifice that yields to even those that hate me? Joy that comes not from what I can do, but what i can’t. Purpose from weakness, not strength. What weakness is there in the proud? Those that “know” what they are going to do tomorrow?

I am back to the beginning again.

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law……But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”

– Galatians 5:16-18, 22-26